do you have imaginary conversations? | ADHD Information

Ugh I do that a lot too. I think it's partly because when I'm face to face with someone, I'm reading their body language and the tone of voice or I'm busy mentally filtering my responses so that they don't sound stupid or tactless, so I lose focus on what the heck I'm talking about unless I "rehearse" it first and consider all the angles. Very, very annoying and the meds have not helped as much with this. Lately I have been obsessing about this conversation I had and what the next conversation with this person will be and I just want to STOP but I don't think I will until I have something new to obsess on. This helps me process better. If I hear something a loud I remember it better. I also need a written list of to do's helps remember also. I have it on the Refrig.

I find my medication stops the urge to have those imaginary conversations - but before meds yes I was just like that. I would have a meeting with someone and before it would obsessively work through what I thought would be talked about and spend a lot of time on it.

Problem is we are so often wrong with what will be said that it's not only a waste of time but potentially self-destructive. It is a habit you must try hard to remove.

Many times this dialogue will end up with us feeling that when the real conversation comes around that we'll end up getting hurt and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Meds helped me but therapy helps me too. You need to talk this out with a pro - and work on new ways to deal. I now tell myself before talking to people that it's best to "wing it" and let the real conversation play out. The less I imagine what is said the more surprised I am at the results. It's rarely a bad outcome!! I was always hurting my chances at coming out on top but not any more!

Just know that you aren't alone and there's better ways. And always keep in mind that what you say is honestly not all that important to the majority of people so whatever you say won't tilt the world off its axis or cause you to end up in major trouble.

I spend way too much time having these imaginary conversations with people. Because I often don't censor what I say even on the meds, I put my foot in my mouth quite often. Over the years I've developed this bad habit of going through a conversation in my mind before the opportunity arises for me to have the actual dialog with someone. I find myself wasting a lot of time doing this and it's driving me nuts. I don't think it's obsessional, I think it's just a habit. Last night I couldn't fall asleep for thinking about what I was going to say to this woman who insulted my daughter's art work. I really wanted to stick with my own feelings on this so I imagined what I was going to say and it kept me awake. Unfortunately these imaginary conversations are time consuming.

As a kid I was told by a schoolmate that i was the most tactless person she knew. This had quite a profound effect on me and could be the root of my current practices.

"And always keep in mind that what you say is honestly not all that important to the majority of people so whatever you say won't tilt the world off its axis or cause you to end up in major trouble.

You're SO right about that!!!

I've noticed that quite a few behaviors are not rooted in a psychosis but are just bad habits. I recently read in the Harvard Business Journal (quoting Harvard's Medical School) that stress is a LEARNED reaction (basically a bad habit) to a situation. They went on to say how varied the responses can be among people to the same situation.... say, some crude, insulting comics for instance! We just have to relearn new responses to situations that we habitually respond to in a negative way.

Thanks for your responses!

if i didn't have those coversations in my head, i wouldn't be talking to anybody at all!

seriously, yeah you should just be yourself. yeah, you shouldn't waste so much time and energy having them. yeah, you shouldn't put yourself through the stress of worrying so much about it.

the reason i do, is that i have fu**ed so many things up, forgotten to say so many important things, hurt so many people's feelings to the detriment of me and the situation in general, i worry about being spontaneous.

i would be happier if i didn't worry about the things i say, and the difficulties of having a conversation with the way my brain works. but i also would be apologising more than i already do. i would be even more of a bastard than i usually am, and have fewer friends and more burnt bridges than i do. this is based on real experience, not just worrries about 'maybes'.

so, this is an adaptation i have made for survival and what little acceptance i experience in this world. i hate that i am so brutal when i don't control myself by 'prescreening' my comments.

beyond that, if i don't prepare for conversations, i will completely forget the important points i need to make, and the conversation/confrontation will be a waste of energy anyway. it usually makes resolution even more difficult, as things go way off the rails when i let loose.

You have great ways to handle things. I too talk in my head, have conversations even write letters. But like glen said once the real conversation takes place, it never is like the one in my head.

However, I will be up all night going over scenerios, write up letters etc. and it make my anxiety worse. if I could just let it go, life would be grand. but I can't, and I have learned different ways to diffuse it sometimes. But other times my head just keeps talking and thinking.

Maybe this will keep alzheimers at bay if my brains keeps talking and thinking.

I only tend to do this if I think or Know Im in trouble for something. Its a catalyst for my anxiety I think.

I do this too, lots. Sometimes I just get caught in "the loop" with the same scenario going round and round for hours instead of me going to sleep. Sometimes I just have to get up and take an ambien. Sometimes I just get no sleep. But a lot of the time, if it is a past conversation, I try to mentally distract myself - read or daydream - make my distractability work for me so that I can fall asleep. If it is a conversation that I have not yet had, I write it down and put it in my purse - and then distract myself until I can sleep.

I think it's because we ADDers lose so much info due to our overwhelmed minds, that we "practice" conversations, "review" conversations, "correct" conversations for the future, by actually acting them out.

I've done that. Does that ring a bell to anyone else?

I not only have imaginary conversations, but I rehash old conversations in my head, often changing them around to suit my needs :) [QUOTE=HeidiMarie]I not only have imaginary conversations, but I rehash old conversations in my head, often changing them around to suit my needs :) [/QUOTE]

You guys that do this should really talk to a professional that does assessments on this type of thing. Can you control it? I used to do that a lot but medication has eliminated it. Mine grew to the point I wasn't sure any more what was my hashing and what the conversation actually was. This can definitely impede your functioning.
[QUOTE=Dabonbon]

I've displayed this kind of behavior as long as I can remember.....

I re-hash and correct conversations, I rehearse conversations, and I fantasize conversations. It has proven to be a very destructive habit, because it always sets me up for disappointment and/or disillusionment. Meds don't help, either. I have to tell myself to shut up and stop it. If people knew I did this, they'd think I was a nutcase. Maybe I am.

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When you say meds don't help, do you mean adhd meds or other psych meds? You are not a nutcase. I think it is originally caused by severe stress that the brain can't handle. The brain can involuntarily go into shock to protect itself and I think this is similar. Trying to talk myself out of it didn't work for me.

I've displayed this kind of behavior as long as I can remember.....

i often do this.

old conversations that didn't go well get reviewed and edited in my mind to help me respond again, or avoid goofs in the future.

conversations i need to have get 'scenario tested'. i have to rehearse and prepare for them so that i say what needs to get said, and that i deflect things that will get me off track. if i react spontaneously in situations that are stress filled for me, i'm likely to either be dumbfounded or mean. rarely is either helpful.

other conversations in my head are the 'psychotic' ones. they happen when i'm under lots of pressure, and in a foul mood at the same time. these are the unhelpful ones.

it's as if my concurrent emotional and mental overloads get funneled into a vortex, further upsetting my ability to focus. it's a bad time. people around me stay clear of me, so i know the intensity is obvious, though i know i could not explain it. it's hard to explain i'm in my head, and not really connected to the outside world.

yeah, so what! i'm a nut job. that is, when i'm not being brilliant.

I think this is why, on a whole, we are excellent debators... "arguers"

sometimes, when people are talking to me about something, and interrupt me-i tune them out and go over and over in my mind about the subject i was talking about. if i don't, i lose it in my head because i can't concentrate.

it frustrates me when someone interrupts me when talking to me (or over im)...

~toni

I've always had imaginary conversations in my head, and I am not ADHD (a mom of an ADHD child, who comes here to the adult section to learn more about living with ADHD). I talk to myself, as well, which my husband finds "amusing and charming." Really! I told him I was going to make a conscious effort to quit talking to myself, and he said he would miss overhearing the conversations

. I can remember when I was a kid, and my brothers, sisters, cousins and I would listen to my grandmother talking to herself, while she sewed, cooked, or worked in the garden. We would giggle and laugh about it. Now, I'm just like her

.I find myself doing this constantly, especially when I SHOULD be sleeping. I've never been very good at communicating the stuff that really matters, especially in my family, so whenever I've had a conversation about something important(which probably did not go as I planned) or if I know one is coming up, I try to figure out what I need to try to get across and what the other person might say back to throw me off and prevent me from getting everything off my chest. And I agree with everyone, this usually isn't very good for me, practice has not seemed to pay of in this case and I just get more stressed out. It feels like these conversations eat away at me from the inside out Sometimes, I believe If I were'nt talking to myself, there would be no one intellegent enough to speak to. I usually talk to myself as a 'sounding board' to work out logic problems concerning machines i repair at work, I guess it must work because when everyone else fails to find the root problem, they call me to repair it, and I do! If only I could do this with the rest of my behaviours, life would be great! When I have 'conversations' with representations of others persona, I always say these things back to myself as the recipient. When I don't like whats being said to myself, I know others won't like it either. I never try to take a conversation mentally past the primary problem, as in chess, to prevent being locked in on a course for losing(time, argument, confidence, etc.).

I am on both Adderall and Lexapro. I still do the conversational thing. One thing is for sure...I have had severe stress all my life, due not only to my own issues, but outside circumstances (severe, chronic illness in my family, alcoholic mother, abuse, alcoholic husband....the list goes on). A year ago, when my doctor was in the process of diagnosis, she sent me for bloodwork. My white count came back showing that it was spiking dramatically, as it does when one has seizures. She said this was due to extreme duress. The habit of talking to myself has always been calming, to a degree.

I'm just so dang lazy, I wish yall would get some mics active so I could have some more "voices" in my head!

I have a mic hookup and the address is moonunitapollo@yahoo.com, for anyone who wants to hear what a redneck sounds like!

I have had those conversations too. I act out what I will say in situations and it is like a daydream. It goes on and one. I worry about things too. I act out what I will do in certain situations, like if I was robbed, or other uncomforable things.

I have found that since I've been crawling, these have diminished greatly. I start to have the daydream, and I can pull myself out of it faster. It's like I can consciously think about what I am doing, rather than just happen to come out of my thoughts when something jars me back to reality.

I think all of you guys are being too hard on yourselves about this. What about looking at this as a form of creativity (writers have conversations in their heads)? Social preparedness (when practicing future conversations)? A natural talent for the stage?

I do this! I think it becomes unhealthy when I've gone through a future scenario and then I replay it over MANY different ways! It becomes an obsession. Hyperfocusing or anxiety rearing its head?

I'll bet very creative people talk to themselves. There's a huge difference between working out scenarios (as in a play), and hearing and seeing imaginary people and therefore talking to them. The first is an exercise. The second are outright psychoses and require psychosis drugs.

Sarita38780.7230902778I have imaginary conversations with imaginary people. I have arguments in my head with people about things that haven't occured and are likely never going to occur. Sometimes I imagine myself standing up to someone. I think it's just practice for when /if the real event should happen. Either that or I'm just completely off my rocker!!

[QUOTE=Gudrun]I have imaginary conversations with imaginary people. I have arguments in my head with people about things that haven't occured and are likely never going to occur. Sometimes I imagine myself standing up to someone. I think it's just practice for when /if the real event should happen. Either that or I'm just completely off my rocker!![/QUOTE]

Do you believe that the people you "practice" with are actually there with you? Or they're simply imaginings for the purpose of playacting?